I have a lot to live up to

So my mom left today. Almost for good. She is coming back when we bless the kids, but that trip will be more for fun than to be my slave. Ryan and I searched our brains for a gift or a token or something to say thank you, but nothing would be good enough. And it's not just because of what my mom does-because lots of moms come to help their daughters with new babies-it's because of who she is. It's because every part of her is a mother. She doesn't have any other function or purpose (well she does-she just doesn't focus on them).

This is just a taste of what she does:

In May she came out here and not only helped me furnish my house with every baby contraption I would need, she then went to Salt Lake with me and threw my friend and I a lovely shower.

In June she was the first person I called when I thought I was in labor (not even Ryan knew how badly I was hurting) and she was the one I was on the phone with when my water broke (although I sure wish it was the doctor). She was the one that helped me breathe on a very scary car ride to the hospital so Ryan could focus on driving oh so skillfully through red lights. I give her all the credit for Adam not being born in the car.
She was the one that booked a flight, packed a suitcase, made a steak dinner and was at the airport all while I was still numb from my spinal. She was also at the hospital that first night almost before I had even visited my kids.
She was the one that stayed for 3 weeks helping me recover from my c-section- helping me shower, get dressed, eat, pump, buy groceries, cook, drive, clean, and help with a second baby shower.

But then, she doesn't get to go home and enjoy herself. She goes to visit my brother and tend my 2 yr. old nephew for a week. Then-she still doesn't really get a rest because her calling as RS president keeps her busy for the remaining weeks my kids are at the hospital.
And then- when the doctor tells me that I get to take Adam home-my first phone call was to Ryan-followed ever so closely to my mom. She had her plane ticket within 10 minutes. She was there just in time for us to take him home. And then when the kid decided to have a problem and stay at the last minute-she never complained once that she came too early-even when that meant being separated from my dad on their 35th anniversary, or dealing with a toothache because of a missed dentist appointment.

For 2 weeks she once again did all the things that I couldn't do-cook, clean, laundry, feed babies, go without sleep, etc. etc. And once again does she get to go home and rest? No-she goes to CA and not only attends my cousin's wedding-she does all the floral arrangements for it including adding flowers to the cake and helps decorate the yard and house for the reception. Ryan and I were left to handle things on our own-and I'll admit I was counting the minutes until she came back!

After the wedding, she comes back here for 1 more week of being a grandmother. And even when I have gotten more sleep than her, she still insists on taking the babies and sending me to bed. And I have to admit I took advantage-on a few occasions I secretly wished A or R would cry harder to wake her up!

And now she is on a flight home. But is she going to be able to rest now? No-she is immediately leaving for Detroit to go to my nephew's baptism. And I know she will put just as much effort into helping and loving that family as she does mine.

And then she will have just a few more weeks before she is back here to help me get ready for the many out of town guests that will be coming for the baby blessing.

Will she be able to rest after that? Maybe, just maybe. But somehow I doubt it. Because of who she is. Because when she is not being a mother or a grandmother, she is being a RS pres, a neighbor, a daughter, and a friend. Somehow she doesn't think she gets very much done in a day. But I know better. I know that when people tell me that I have a great mom that they don't know the half of it.
And I know that when I say that my mom is my best friend-that doesn't cover enough either.
So I can't even come close to saying Thank You. All I can do is try to be the kind of mom that you have always been-someone who always puts her kids first no matter what. But I know that I won't be able to do nearly as good of a job. Because I have already failed. I already have put myself before my kids plenty of times. And while I know that they will forgive me and we will be fine without you- we sure would be better off with you here and we sure hope you know that we will never forget what you have done for us this summer-and my whole life.
And tomorrow when I wake up and you're not here and I call you on the phone and cry-it won't just be because I am tired. It won't just be because I need you to feed or change a screaming kid. It won't just be because I have laundry to fold again. It will be because even if you never helped at all-I would still need you.